Okay, so you can’t literally move mountains but you can make choices to remove the obstacles that stand in your way.
Or at the very least, try to manage those obstacles so that you can make your life a life you’re happy to live. Experiencing domestic abuse means those obstacles can be so much bigger.
So where do we start?
Life has so many challenges and obstacles that we all have to face, but for those who have experienced domestic abuse, are still experiencing it or don’t even know that they are experiencing abuse, makes those challenges and obstacles even more difficult to process.
One of the biggest challenges for those impacted by abuse is where to get support and advice – it’s not always that easy.
You may not know what types of support are out there. You may live in the same house as the abuser. This is where the day to day challenges and obstacles become so much bigger when abuse is at the centre.
So when it comes to professional support either during or after abuse, it can feel very daunting. You may be nervous and unsure if this is the right decision.
It’s about the individual and each experience is completely unique to each person.
Support is vital to understanding the complexities of domestic abuse and learning how to move forward, day by day.
Even if seeking support wasn’t what you thought it would be, to a certain extent it was a safety net that you had.
There were people to talk to and for them to listen to you.
Especially if you’ve never spoken about your experiences before – support can be life changing.
So here’s the problem, what happens when professional support ends?
Because support comes in all shapes and sizes when it’s gone, it can leave a big void in your life and you can ask yourself the question, “What do I do now?”
I created You Don’t Own Me and DIP in and out with Lucy so that nobody ever felt alone or that they had nowhere to turn.
They are there as constant support and resources to help individuals manage their day to day life either during or after domestic abuse.
You can read blogs, guest blogs, watch or listen to episodes of my podcast to help you navigate the conversation around domestic abuse.
And you can find help and support through my resources page.
But essentially, what you do next, is up to you, and that can be a terrifying thought.
Domestic abuse strips away the person you once were and it may be hard to even remember a time when you were genuinely happy.
My advice?
Give yourself a break.
You’ve spent so long blaming yourself and feeling so low that it will take time to get up and move forward with your life.
You may get up and then something happens and you feel like you’re back to square one.
Get up again and get up again until one day you realise just how far you’ve come.
You may be only half way to moving that mountain but you’re half way further on than when you started!
You’re allowed to feel strong AND you’re allowed to feel fragile. There is a balance to all of it.
Just as you’re allowed to have good days and you’re allowed to have bad days.
Listen to songs that make you smile or feel empowered and if you feel like it, sing!
Read books that bring you joy, watch a film that makes you laugh, go for a walk.
If you can, volunteer for a worthy cause – it may help others to see your compassion and understanding and it may just help you too!
Remember those positive emotions are still inside you, just waiting to get out!
BUT when you need to cry…cry, there’s no shame in it.
You have the right to cry.
All the emotions you experience are helping you process the abuse.
You are the overcomer.
You are the hero of your own life story.
And you can move any mountain – just not literally!
Check out my Resources Page for useful links.
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