I am a Domestic Abuse Consultant, Specialising in Post-Separation Abuse. Working with organisations such as National Trading Standards Scams Team as part of their Taskforce, to create a coordinated and collaborative approach, guiding victims of fraud, scams and financial abuse with the support and help they need.
Post-separation abuse is something we don’t talk about nearly enough. But is it because we’re not really sure what it means? This is where I can help.
Post-separation abuse is often overlooked for a number of reasons, more often than not due to the misconception that once an individual has left an abusive situation then that’s it, they’re free.
So what is Post-separation Abuse?
At it’s core, post-separation abuse is about the abuser doing their utmost to hang on to control and power. The abuser needs to remain in control.
So when an individual who has been controlled, manages to leave, the abuser can’t and won’t accept it. And the situation for many people, in fact, becomes so much worse and in the end is a living nightmare.
I have often said that post-separation abuse and trying to move forward with your life is like running a marathon and not a sprint.
But what do you do when there never appears to be a finish line because it’s constantly moving further and further away from you?
There isn’t a simple answer.
Until we are willing to try and understand and unpick the complexities of post-separation abuse, it will continue to go undetected in so many lives.
Because why would an individual speak out if they think they won’t be heard or understood?
Or just as worryingly, they don’t see that the abuse has continued after they have managed to leave. This is “just how it is.” It is their norm.
Anyone who has experienced and recognised that they have experienced post-separation abuse knows that it comes in all shapes and sizes. From the abuser withholding financial support to using harassment and intimidation to get what they want. Emotionally and physically abusing the children involved to try to retain power and control. Abuse of social and legal systems to attempt to frighten the individual into doing what the abuser wants.
Post-separation abuse is grueling, can last a long time and you will need support.
Family members and friends can also learn more about how to try and help their loved ones. Not only that but to help themselves navigate their way through supporting someone going through post-separation abuse.
Talking about domestic abuse can be difficult. We don’t always have the right words or even know what to say.
I can help you break down those barriers and have an open and honest conversation about domestic abuse.
There are so many preconceived ideas, so talking about the complexities of abuse is essential in helping people understand that it isn’t as straight forward as you might think!
I cover all aspects of domestic abuse.
I’ve worked in the charity sector for many years including working as the Victim Voice Facilitator for Trafford Domestic Abuse Services in Manchester.
Working within the community and meeting extraordinary people!
Facilitating groups and working with service users in the community and on a one to one basis.
I can tailor any speaking engagement to suit your needs:
- Children and Young People (CYP)
- And Much More!
Contact me for a chat