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When I woke up this morning, I remembered a very vivid dream I had last night about one word.
Despair.
I very rarely can remember my dreams. More often than not I am exceedingly grateful for that.
But this dream was so vivid that when I woke up, I could clearly remember this one word that repeatedly showed up in the dream.
It was like a big billboard sign, flashing at me.
And it got me thinking.
A lot of how we cope with the feeling of despair can be our attitude and mindset towards it. And whether or not we are willing to talk about it and face it head on. We don’t always know where to look. There is support out there. And the right support can make a huge difference in your life.
You can find lots of useful links to support services on my Resources Page
The support network you have around you in your family, friends and work colleagues plays a vital role. But sometimes they don’t quite know what to say or do.
And it’s important to highlight that there is support out there for family, friends and work colleagues who need support navigating the difficult conversations that can arise.
Also, so that they can equip themselves in supporting you, which in turn, can help them try to understand the vast complexities of domestic abuse.
I don’t know how many other people have experienced this when people say, “not everyone could cope with what happened to you the way you have, you’re so strong.”
You can feel strong and you can feel weak, all at the same time. And this can lead to feelings of despair.
So how do you try to navigate that feeling of despair?
In my blog Forgiveness – Is It Possible? I talk about how we all use the word hope in our vocabulary. Hoping the bus comes in the morning on time, we hope we have a good day whatever it is we are doing. It lies beneath the surface of our daily existence.
Hope is your absolute saving grace.
Over time, hope starts to outweigh despair, until eventually the feeling of despair is no longer important. You don’t need it and you certainly don’t want it.
To go back to the dream, I wasn’t frightened or upset when I woke up. I had given the feeling I’d felt for so long it’s proper name, despair. I’d put it on a billboard and was not ashamed. It was the best dream I can ever remember having.
Realising I had owned the feeling in my subconscious because it doesn’t own me. And it felt great. One of the many reasons I love the name of my website is because it speaks volumes.
For those impacted by domestic abuse, it’s not just about the abuser not owning you. It’s about those feelings, just like despair. They don’t own you either.
My head is constantly full of quotes and I love adding relevant ones to each blog. This one is a personal favourite of mine and always will be:
“I’m not an optimist. I’m a prisoner of hope.” Desmond Tutu
And I would rather be a prisoner of hope than a prisoner of despair any day of the week!
And today is a good day.
Check out my Resources Page for useful links.
You can find me on YouTube