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Is the question I am often asked.
And quite rightly so – as it is my specialism.
I started my Consultancy and Guest Speaking because I wanted to make a difference. And thankfully, that dream is becoming a reality.
I talk about all aspects of Domestic Abuse but I chose to specialise in Post-Separation Abuse for one simple reason.
Many people have either never heard of it or are not sure what it means.
The misconception is that once a person leaves an abusive relationship, then that’s it. They’re free.
This couldn’t be further from the truth.
At it’s core, post-separation abuse is about the abuser doing their utmost to hang on to control and power.
The abuser needs to remain in control.
So if an individual manages to leave an abusive relationship, the abuser can’t and won’t accept it.
And the situation for many people, in fact, only gets worse.
I have often said that post-separation abuse and a person trying to move forward with their life is like running a marathon and not a sprint.
But what do you do when there never appears to be a finish line? It seems to be constantly moving further and further away?
There isn’t a simple answer.
But talking about it, seeking help and support can have a huge and positive impact.
And until we are willing to try understand and unpick the complexities of post-separation abuse, it will continue to go undetected in so many lives.
Because why would an individual speak out if they thought they won’t be heard or understood?
Or just as worryingly, they don’t see that the abuse has continued after they have managed to leave. This is “just how it is.” It is their norm.
Post-separation abuse is grueling, can last a long time and individuals impacted, will need support.
Family members and friends can also learn more about how to try and help their loved ones. And in the process, help themselves navigate their way through supporting someone experiencing post-separation abuse.
Nobody should ever feel as though they are “owned” by another human being. And You Don’t Own Me will keep spreading that message for as long as it takes……
If this blog resonates with you or someone you know, you can visit my Resources Page for useful links and support.