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Ripple effect: “a situation in which one event produces effects which spread and produce further effects.” – Cambridge Dictionary
And just like a ripple effect, domestic abuse can develop and spread and produce far reaching effects. You can be affected directly or indirectly and at some point in your life you will know someone, a family member, friend, work colleague or maybe you yourself have been impacted by domestic abuse.
The effects stem from the first time someone is abusive – emotionally, financially, physically, psychologically or sexually and it continues to spread. The further effects can then lead to becoming so reliant on the abuser, that everything, your entire existence is about what the abuser wants. Where you live, what family or friends you see, what you eat, what you wear, the list goes on and on.
Domestic abuse is subtle, especially in the beginning, it doesn’t happen over night – it grows gradually.
Over time, the effects become so widespread, every area of life is impacted by the abuse. Relationships with those close to you start to change as the abuser’s clutches take a tighter grip and hold on your life. Maybe you can sense that things aren’t right and you notice those around you seem to act differently towards you.
Perhaps they can sense it too but so few want to approach the subject for fear of the fall out. It’s become a living nightmare and a way out seems impossible.
You don’t notice that you’re getting in deeper and deeper into troubled waters until at some point you realise you are completely and utterly lost. Maybe you can’t explain why you are so lost, but you are.
You tell yourself nobody will understand, how could they? You will be blamed for not leaving sooner or for “allowing” the abuse to continue if you stay. There are so many victims and survivors out there who have in some ways experienced similarities in the abuse they have endured.
You are not alone.
As much as you tell yourself or believe you are alone, you’re not.
HERE’S HOW:
Abuse of older people
BAME Community
Children and Young People
Child on parent abuse
Disabled People
Families and friends impacted by abuse
Female victims/survivors
LGBTQ+
Male victims/survivors
People with learning difficulties
Post-separation abuse