“Do Better.”

It’s a phrase we hear from time to time.

But what does it really mean to; “do better.”

Many of us think we are doing the best we can in all sorts of situations and circumstances. Life throws us challenges, sometimes, more often than we care to admit.

But I’m asking this……

Are we, as a society doing the best we can to support others?

Too often, people don’t see domestic abuse as something they need to be concerned about.

“It doesn’t affect me.”

Domestic abuse affects ALL of us. Whether we like it or not.

You can be impacted directly or indirectly and at some point in your life you will know someone, a family member, friend, neighbour, work colleague or maybe you yourself have been impacted by domestic abuse and don’t realise it.

The idea that domestic abuse only “happens” to certain individuals is one of the many narratives that we need to change!

Anyone can be a victim or survivor of domestic abuse.

The ripple effect domestic abuse creates can develop and spread.

The effects stem from the first time someone is abusive – emotionally, financially, physically, psychologically or sexually and it continues to spread.

This can then lead to becoming so reliant on the abuser, that everything, your entire existence is about what the abuser wants.

Where you live, what family or friends you see, what money you spend, what you eat, what you wear, the list goes on and on.

Domestic abuse is subtle, especially in the beginning, it doesn’t happen over night.

It grows gradually.

Over time, the effects become so widespread, every area of life is impacted by the abuse.

Relationships with family and friends start to change as the abuser’s clutches take a tighter grip and hold on the individual’s life.

They start getting deeper and deeper into troubled waters until they are completely and utterly lost.

Maybe they can’t explain why they are so lost, but they are. Trying to explain to people why they are in the situation they are in, without really understanding it themselves.

Then imagine, the very people they are trying to explain all this to are asking questions and making statements like, “Well, why didn’t you leave sooner?” “I could see them coming a mile off!”

If you are fortunate enough to have someone open up about their experience of domestic abuse, it’s never acceptable to question why they were in that situation.

It takes immense amounts of courage to speak about something so personal and so confusing, that to second guess why someone was in that situation shows nothing but ego.

When we judge others, what are we actually judging them by?

Our own experiences and opinions. That doesn’t make sense.

Putting ego aside and saying, I’m in no position to judge another human being would be a start to changing the way we treat and perceive victims and survivors of domestic abuse.

Now is the time to turn the attention onto our ourselves and say, “I can do better.”

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