Is one of the most important things you can do for yourself.
I have tried to spend most of my life treating people as I would want to be treated.
But I came to the realisation in recent years that you can’t please everybody. And there’s no shame in that.
We are all unique and not everyone is going to like you, understand you or your situation.
And that’s OK.
I wrote a blog last year entitled, “Rumour has it…….let them Talk”
Because so often, society judges victims and survivors of domestic abuse.
Unconscious bias, assumptions, speculations all come into play.
All of this has a huge impact on those who have experienced domestic abuse.
They feel the need to justify themselves or explain their situations.
They don’t.
For those who have experienced domestic abuse they have a million thoughts to process, a multitude of plates to spin, while trying to live each day of their life.
When people feel it’s acceptable to talk about a victim or survivor and pass judgement on a situation, they couldn’t possibly fathom, I’m astounded.
Not only is that person having to process the fact that they have experienced domestic abuse but if they have children, they are trying to support their children too.
So then for a victim to feel the need to defend themselves and their lives to people who have no comprehension of what they have lived through, is utterly devastating.
Add to that the perpetrator more often than not, will openly lie about the victim/survivor, coerce and manipulate others into believing them.
Spinning the narrative in favour of themselves, then what choices does the individual impacted have?
As is so often the case, there is no easy answer.
But one positive choice and step in the right direction is when you stop explaining yourselves and your situations to others, you are slowly and gradually, taking back your peace.
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